Aries in Love

Arians don’t have relationships as such. They impose an Aries-archy. Your whim is their “attack on personal dignity.”

As they are so inordinately proud of their oratory skills, they like to practice them with the occasional state-of-the-relationship rant: If you forget to put the trash out, you’re not merely forgetting to put the trash out. It is a symptom of a deeper malaise. Something is rotten in the Aries-archy. Their biggest turn on? Obedience.

If your partner is an Aries you should ideally be: independently wealthy yet financially naive; amazingly intelligent yet awed at the Arian intellect; excitingly domineering but still thrillingly compliant, and superbly skilled sexually yet giving off virginal vibes.

Yes, it can take a while for our Aries to find a suitable life partner but they do become less obnoxious with time.

In their minds love doesn’t conquer all, conquest conquers all.

The good news is that, once captured, Arians go over the top in establishing a thrilling and fulfilling ongoing love affair. They are closet true romantics.

Everyone who has ever lived under an Aries-archy knows that Ramzilla has ways of being understood and that anyone not totally simpatico with the Ramzilla reality is either disloyal or mentally defective.

Arians are so proud of their debating skills that they’ll stay up on an all-night rant, if that’s what it takes to win. But this doesn’t do much for their relationships. They tend to pick partners who hate logic, let alone arguments, then try to convert them into the ultimate sparring contestant.

Don’t try to make your Aries lover read a self-help book or see a shrink. As every Arian knows, sitting around analysing things is a total waste of precious time. They are perfectly adept at holding the floor with their self as topic without having to pay anyone a cent. They already feel the fear and do things anyway. Arians prefer to use their own data to pick their way through life. If they’re wrong, they’ll just ram their way through and worry about the repercussions later.