Gemini in Love

Maddening and elusive, Geminis are much in demand among those who relish a challenge. Shrieking on about space they
oscillate between ratty and clingy.

They phone ex-lovers on some pretext or their osteopath who has a crush on them, whispering breathily into the phone like Marilyn Monroe late to the set again. They want someone who lets them be themselves—at last, although they have no idea who that self is, how to recognise it, or whether they’d like it.

Secretly, they prefer lots of hot chit-chat without the pressure to even put out, let alone commit.

They can enjoy intrigue, secret crushes, and/or an impossible love affair—ideally so impossible that it never happens.

Although not the steadiest lovers in the world, Geminis don’t carry baggage about whether or not someone is loyal to them. They make a cynical Gemini gesture to placate the needy control freak and move on. Because Geminis are so good at masking what they think of as their “real emotions” with smart quips, they assume everyone else is more or less the same.

This is why Geminis often go out and purchase guides to stuff such as body language. They think there must be some tricky technique that they should swot up on.

A Gemini can look at an emotionally tormented partner with an expression that suggests they’re watching a really bad television show but are too tired to get up and go to bed.

Once a Gemini has decided that a certain person bores them they are casually ruthless. People often think they are being deliberately cruel and creepy but they simply can’t help it. Some of them have spectacularly bad methods of breaking up: via fax, email, or by getting their PA to phone through the news.

The world is full of half-bitter, half-still-besotted former lovers of Gemini; the irony is that Gemini, sign of the Twins, so flourishes once they’ve found their soul mate.